Drivers?

Here in Melbourne [ Inner suburbs] We have small Victorian streets which run off larger roads that often have tram tracks down the middle of them. This set up means that there are some driving habits peculiar to this town. Luckily most of the antiquated ones like give way to the right have long gone. A more recent addition to the road-scape has been the mini roundabout.

Having grown up in the U.K. I am familiar with roundabout etiquette and can usually predict the approach and exit with out much difficulty. Now here comes the crunch about 50% of the Melbourne drivers just don’t get it. They approach a mini roundabout as if they are entering a super highway. Some almost stop, when they see the roundabout approaching a hundred yards away. They then creep, their way up to the edge, and peer into the abyss. If there is any possibility that a car, bike, truck, house, block of flats, you name it, is coming their way they remain seated on the edge of the intersection. Only when all is clear as far as the eye can see do they venture forth.

But if there is a traffic jam, and they can’t get through the intersection, they still motor ahead and then block the middle of the roundabout.

To say they don’t have a clue is an understatement.

Woof.

Joni Mitchell Both Sides Now

I read this song last night for the first time in a very long time. Thought I'd share it with you. Love those Canadians. X

BOTH SIDES NOW- Joni Mitchell

C F C F

Bows and flows of angel hair

F Em Am C

And ice cream castles in the air

F Dm

And feather canyons everywhere

F G

I've looked at clouds that way

C F C F

But now they only block the sun

F Em Am C

They rain and snow on everyone

F Dm

So many things I could have done

F G

But clouds got in my way

CHORUS:

C F C

I've looked at clouds from both sides now

F C F C

From up and down, and still somehow

Em F C

It's clouds' illusions I recall

C F C Am Gsus G C

I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels

The dizzy, dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show

You leave them laughing as you go

And if you care don't let them know

Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now

From give and take, and still somehow

It's love's illusions I recall

I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say, "I love you" right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange

They shake their heads, they say I've changed

Something's lost and something's gained

In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose, and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all

Woof.

Musicians and Memories

Sometimes looking at a blank computer screen can get you nowhere. Inspiration doesn’t just appear out of the ether. However it can set the old memory going, in fact it didn’t have to go too far back in time to come up with a little piece of information.

I was listening to the first of the Reith lectures and this year it is a musician Daniel Barenboim who is giving them. Two little gems came out of his talk.

1] The creation of music, the moment when music fills the silence that proceeds it. He told us that you couldn’t just make the music appear out of the silence it must fill that silence. It made me sit down at the piano and anticipate that moment before a note is played.

2] The second gem is his observation made when asked what he would play if he had one minute to live. Well he knocked that on the head by saying he didn’t live his life wondering about such trivia. However he does play his concerts as if they are both his first and last.

In amongst his answer he came up the idea that each day his relationship with music starts anew and with that you bring your experience from previous days. But due to the transient nature of music it is always new each day spiced with memories of past playing.

Woof.

Sunday again

Shhhh we are asleep CYA later. Snoooooooooooooooooze
Woof. AAAAAAAAAAh

Ronnie Barker RIP.

In memory of a great man. Ronnie RIP.

This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie

Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many

takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of

delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting

through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your

pants] as you read .

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella

worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling

shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,

and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible

huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had

tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let

Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her

name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when

suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said

Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping

her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a

knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge

halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking

ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince

lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a

follen swanny.

Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance
- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0,
NBA 3.0., and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging
5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

=========================

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved
Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy. Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring
Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs
a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control
of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech

Woof.

Refugees.

Why does John Howard continue to push Australia back into the dark ages with regard to Human rights? The latest bill before Parliament is to make it even harder to arrive here in Australia, as a refugee.

The usual rhetoric about queue jumping and bad people, is banded about at times like this, while the bill is debated. The last 20, or so refugees, that arrived illegally, were all processed as refugees and allowed to stay. The days of mass migration of refugees are over, and even if they weren’t most times they are legitimate refugees.

Even Liberal members of Parliament are going to cross the floor to vote against this bill. I heard one member say, he was disgusted by the intent of this bill. One of the main concerns is that children could end up on remote islands, off the Australian mainland without proper healthcare, housing, schooling, etc. possibly for years.

Since The Howard government took office, we have had many breaches of our international obligations, including human rights.

Time for a change. But where to go??

Woof.

Doctors and Dentists

I touched on dental health the other day. I do have a bug about them both at times, but like everyone when you need one of them you are grateful for their expertise.

What does give me the irritations is the way they have learnt to value add their professional services at the expense of the patients wallet or the states health system.

If the health system is to survive, it must be universal and where possible free of corruption. News over the last few days has been of inducements from drug companies to doctors. The costs of these practises are passed on in more expensive drugs. So lets stop it, tell your doctor you want the cheaper drug where possible.
Woof.

Teeth Permits and Tilly

The Federal Government has boasted record surpluses. When they were first elected a decade ago they loved to crow about the bad economic management of the previous Labor government.

So now a decade later we have sold off what we can, privatised just about everything, and collected massive amounts of tax. With a consumption tax known as the Goods and Services Tax. GST. We therefore have a large surplus of money, that the government could spend on helping the poor of this society. An area of health spending that has been virtually knocked on the head is Dental health. Which any one with a tooth in their head knows is very important.

We used to be ranked at the top of the list for good teeth, now we are down the bottom. The Federal Government just about wiped out dental health care for the poor and disadvantaged as a way of saving dollars, back in the days when they wanted to get the budget back in the black. Now they are awash with money they give tax cuts to rich. Some of who must be dentists. Ironic.

In our area [inner suburb] we have a system of resident parking permits. The first one used to be free. and a house holder was allowed 2 others. One for another car from the household, and one known as a visitors permit. Well the visitors permit is going to be stopped.

Why I hear you scream.

Well some unscrupulous residents have been selling their visitor permits, to people who knock on their doors asking if they want to sell them. Local businesses and workers who come to the area need all day parking.

Well we need and use on a regular basis our visitors permit, now it is going to be replaced with a book of vouchers. Time to get the pen is mightier than the sword out, and give the clowns down at clown hall a serve.

Tilly turned One on Saturday. A big happy birthday to her. XXXX

Woof.

Naive Politicians

Our Prime Minister [He cops a fair pasting here] is going around saying that the hike in petrol prices is his number one problem at the moment. He goes as far as to say,

'It is one of my biggest worries of my political career.'

Why? I ask,' haven't you done anything about it earlier. You didn't see it coming? I think blind Freddie could of seen it coming.'

There are so many ways that a government can help persuade the populous to change their ways, from consumer to re-user, recycler, alternative energy users, etc etc.

But they have done very little, allowing the market to find it's way, which has meant we have been encouraged to be consumers not re-users.

If as a Prime Minister he had set policies that encouraged the use of alternative fuels, or helped finance a sensible alternative to large engine, American style cars. He would have the choice of the best advisers, he could encourage informed debate. But instead he is now surprised that the price of fuel is so high. When his government took our troops into Iraq, he must of seen it to be a contributing factor in this equation.

There are so many reasons why a western style democratically elected government has to look beyond the lobbyists from the big end of town. Otherwise we are all going to suffer the harm inflicted by poorly thought out policy based on selective information biased by it's source.

It is the population of a country that you as an elected government are there to govern and it is their needs you hope to provide for. Not overseas owned multinationals, they play there part but they have been allowed to dominate policy. A company that makes billions in profits doesn't think about the cost of a litre of fuel, or a fuel efficient car, unless it can see profit at the end of the day. Governments are not there to facilitate profits for large business.
So if John Howard had been more in tune with the needs of the people and not the profits of big business he wouldn't be so surprised by the rising cost of fuel and he may of already taken steps to address the problem.

Woof.