Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance
- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0,
NBA 3.0., and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging
5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

=========================

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved
Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy. Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring
Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs
a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control
of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech

Woof.