Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Citizenship Test

  • Recently the Federal government has devised a citizen test. It has met with some disapproval. Below is an article from The Age giving one persons opinion. If you want to see it on line go to The Age article.
For much of my life I have had to deal with tests or the lack of them. What I mean is, I have never been happy sitting an exam or test. I don't like the idea of being assessed by people who I have never met and may not like to meet. We have all heard of inappropriate testing from Hitler and his Aryan race to the more benign 11 plus exam they had in the U.K. that could determine a persons schooling and work choices at age 10-11 years. Now the Australian government want to test migrants on things like who was Australia's first Prime Minister. Duh.
Read On.

Catherine Deveny

It's time for a real test that requires real Australian qualities.

YOU can shove your citizenship test up your poxy date. No one has the right to decide what being Australian is. I was born here and I have no idea. But I do know what it isn't, and what being Australian isn't is testing people on what they know about some white pen-pusher's idea of Australia. This is the country whose citizens pride themselves on not knowing the words to their own country's anthem.

If I wanted to be an Australian citizen and I was told that I had to pass a test first, I'd bugger off to New Zealand.

Who are we trying to keep out with this test? How will knowing the name of Australia's first prime minister or the date of Federation keep out terrorists, wankers or bludgers? The citizenship test questions are irrelevant and offensive. Here's my citizenship test and if you don't like it you can rack off and go back to your own country. You know what the most un-Australian thing in the world is? Migrants. And we don't want them coming here with their fancy food, classy culture, rich traditions and willingness to contribute.


1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?

2. What is a mole?

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."


1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother … b) You're going home in the back of a …

c) Fair suck of the …

3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?


1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?

5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?

6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?


1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

3. Who would you like to crack on to?

4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

5. Is there someone you are only mates with because

they own a trailer or have a pool?

6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

The people to be granted citizenship are the ones who call it a crock and cheat.

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

Public Transport

If you are interested in public transport especially here in Melbourne have a read of this article by Kenneth Davidson in The Age

Yet again he has hit it on the head. We should have some Nuremberg style trials for the politicians both state and local, that think privatising public assets and wasting our common wealth on international companies who want to run our Utilities at rip off rates is good policy cause we just can't have governments getting their political toes wet anymore.

And Secondly

If the wallies out there who think they can be carbon neutral, cause they drive a diesel car and carry a green shopping bag. Beware we are being conned, lets start by using less of everything, to consume is to waste.


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Friday, August 24, 2007

ABC Discussion

I heard a panel discussion on Radio National this morning, with Michael Kroger [Liberal party heavy weight] involved. Of course taking up the cudgel for the Liberals in a discussion re the party political leaders and how they are faring in the pre-election bun fight to win office.

Michael at every opportunity said the Labor leader and his team had no experience in running a country and therefore should not be entrusted with the opportunity to do so in the future. If he said it once he said it 10 times, at every twist and turn he would refer back to their lack of experience.

It wasn't until another member of the panel a woman [sorry can't remember her name] told him that Peter Costello [now triumphed as our greatest treasurer] didn't have any experience before he too was elected to government. Kroger jumped in with,

"No I was talking about the prime minister John Howard. He was the Treasurer in the Fraser government."
Woman replies "And not a very good one at that", so if this is the type of experience one needs, to be a, 'minister with experience', so be it.

We are definitely in for a very dirty campaign and I foresee John Howard's credibility will be tarnished by it, it already is.


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Monday, August 20, 2007


Kevin Rudd our opposition leader visited a strip club, why that sort of news is news worthy I have no idea. 3 years ago to boot. I used to eat lovely meals at 3 am in Paris when I worked there back in the 1970s in strip clubs. It is just not a newsworthy event.

The money markets around the globe have gone crazy. Well I be it is a bit like hearing a guy has blown a million bucks down the casino. Who gives a fig. Here in Australia just about every news segment is proceeded by a financial update, which usually means a run down of the top stocks traded up and down. I have argued for a long time that for most of us we have no interest in stocks and shares and those that do will know in any case. It is a bit like sport who needs to know if player A hit player B and is being penalised for it. Which ever which way we get to hear this crap. And somehow we care.
Go read a blog or a book.

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Liar Liar pants on fire

I knew this was going to be a hard few months. prior to our next general election.

Now we have holier than thou politicians proclaiming innocence when it comes to quotes of dissent and subterfuge. These men and women are potentially the most influential people in our society.

If the Treasurer speaks we are all told about what he says. A wrong word in the wrong ear can push interest rates up and put money markets in a spin. So they are skilled in the art of non speak and evasion. It is Yes Minister all the way.

If I had a 65 year old plus colleague telling me he is going to step aside and then doesn't I think I would be pissed off. Especially if you can't talk about it or canvas your intentions with out causing a political storm.

I don't blame Costello I blame Howard he should of stepped aside and made way for a new leader. In the world of politics, I would expect them to lie about there ambitions cause if you admit to every conversation you have you'd be like the rest of us and not be the treasurer.

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Health Care

Here is an article in The Age re private health funding.


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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Mr Howard's age

About a year ago, I was wondering about the Liberal party keeping John Howard as their leader.
I thought it was a mistake to let him choose when he retires, he had apparently made a deal with Peter Costello a year before to stand aside and then he reneged on it.
Now their own polling is telling them, the electorate see John Howard as too old to be Prime minister, and that he lies.
Well would you put up as your best candidate to lead your party, and the country, and old fart who lies?
Johns response to this criticism " You collect a bit of baggage when you have been in office for a decade or more."

Can't any of them see that selling politics is like selling a brand. Many in the electorate want their prime minister to appear to be relevant, and not an embarrassment, and that is how older people are perceived when they continue to act younger than their age.

We all know he wont be prime minister for long. The Libs just want to keep him on, to try and win the un-winable election. It has already back fired. They would of been better off breaking in his successor Peter Costello.

Treasurers are usually disliked [taxes, fiscal etc] but leaders can win the electorate over. Give it away John and your supporters. Give a younger man a turn.

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Friday, August 03, 2007

John Howard time to redress

Now that John Howard has shown he is capable and willing to act unilaterally. Read Tasmanian Hospitals. I thought I would make a list of things I would like him to address.

1] Get rid of negative gearing on investment properties. It is making home ownership prohibitive in Australia.
2] Make private equity take overs and Overseas companies pay capital gains tax, and in fact make them much more accountable for their actions. We don't want them taking our commonwealth to make a few individuals mega rich at our long term detriment.
3] If he wants to step on states rights, stop the desalination plant here in Victoria and come up with a recycling plant.
4] Remove the now 6 billion dollar health rebate for private health insurance, it is doing nothing to improve our health. It is really just putting money into private health funds. In fact sack the economist that came up with that idea.
5] Acknowledge the indigenous people of Australia and work with them to improve their lives in a positive inclusive way.

There are many more things and I will probably add them as the election gets nearer.

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