Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance
- particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0,
NBA 3.0., and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging
5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

=========================

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved
Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband
1.0 to default to Grumpy. Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring
Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs
a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control
of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech

Woof.

Refugees.

Why does John Howard continue to push Australia back into the dark ages with regard to Human rights? The latest bill before Parliament is to make it even harder to arrive here in Australia, as a refugee.

The usual rhetoric about queue jumping and bad people, is banded about at times like this, while the bill is debated. The last 20, or so refugees, that arrived illegally, were all processed as refugees and allowed to stay. The days of mass migration of refugees are over, and even if they weren’t most times they are legitimate refugees.

Even Liberal members of Parliament are going to cross the floor to vote against this bill. I heard one member say, he was disgusted by the intent of this bill. One of the main concerns is that children could end up on remote islands, off the Australian mainland without proper healthcare, housing, schooling, etc. possibly for years.

Since The Howard government took office, we have had many breaches of our international obligations, including human rights.

Time for a change. But where to go??

Woof.

Doctors and Dentists

I touched on dental health the other day. I do have a bug about them both at times, but like everyone when you need one of them you are grateful for their expertise.

What does give me the irritations is the way they have learnt to value add their professional services at the expense of the patients wallet or the states health system.

If the health system is to survive, it must be universal and where possible free of corruption. News over the last few days has been of inducements from drug companies to doctors. The costs of these practises are passed on in more expensive drugs. So lets stop it, tell your doctor you want the cheaper drug where possible.
Woof.

Teeth Permits and Tilly

The Federal Government has boasted record surpluses. When they were first elected a decade ago they loved to crow about the bad economic management of the previous Labor government.

So now a decade later we have sold off what we can, privatised just about everything, and collected massive amounts of tax. With a consumption tax known as the Goods and Services Tax. GST. We therefore have a large surplus of money, that the government could spend on helping the poor of this society. An area of health spending that has been virtually knocked on the head is Dental health. Which any one with a tooth in their head knows is very important.

We used to be ranked at the top of the list for good teeth, now we are down the bottom. The Federal Government just about wiped out dental health care for the poor and disadvantaged as a way of saving dollars, back in the days when they wanted to get the budget back in the black. Now they are awash with money they give tax cuts to rich. Some of who must be dentists. Ironic.

In our area [inner suburb] we have a system of resident parking permits. The first one used to be free. and a house holder was allowed 2 others. One for another car from the household, and one known as a visitors permit. Well the visitors permit is going to be stopped.

Why I hear you scream.

Well some unscrupulous residents have been selling their visitor permits, to people who knock on their doors asking if they want to sell them. Local businesses and workers who come to the area need all day parking.

Well we need and use on a regular basis our visitors permit, now it is going to be replaced with a book of vouchers. Time to get the pen is mightier than the sword out, and give the clowns down at clown hall a serve.

Tilly turned One on Saturday. A big happy birthday to her. XXXX

Woof.

Naive Politicians

Our Prime Minister [He cops a fair pasting here] is going around saying that the hike in petrol prices is his number one problem at the moment. He goes as far as to say,

'It is one of my biggest worries of my political career.'

Why? I ask,' haven't you done anything about it earlier. You didn't see it coming? I think blind Freddie could of seen it coming.'

There are so many ways that a government can help persuade the populous to change their ways, from consumer to re-user, recycler, alternative energy users, etc etc.

But they have done very little, allowing the market to find it's way, which has meant we have been encouraged to be consumers not re-users.

If as a Prime Minister he had set policies that encouraged the use of alternative fuels, or helped finance a sensible alternative to large engine, American style cars. He would have the choice of the best advisers, he could encourage informed debate. But instead he is now surprised that the price of fuel is so high. When his government took our troops into Iraq, he must of seen it to be a contributing factor in this equation.

There are so many reasons why a western style democratically elected government has to look beyond the lobbyists from the big end of town. Otherwise we are all going to suffer the harm inflicted by poorly thought out policy based on selective information biased by it's source.

It is the population of a country that you as an elected government are there to govern and it is their needs you hope to provide for. Not overseas owned multinationals, they play there part but they have been allowed to dominate policy. A company that makes billions in profits doesn't think about the cost of a litre of fuel, or a fuel efficient car, unless it can see profit at the end of the day. Governments are not there to facilitate profits for large business.
So if John Howard had been more in tune with the needs of the people and not the profits of big business he wouldn't be so surprised by the rising cost of fuel and he may of already taken steps to address the problem.

Woof.

Howard and Costellos' misuse of words.

For a while now it has been annoying me that the government [and others who should know better] continue to use misleading words to describe policy outcomes and political achievements.

For example the use of average yearly income that is $50,000 that of course takes into account every one from the very high income earners to the lowest.

The more accurate description is of the median income which is only $26,000. I can understand why you would want to give the higher amount it makes your policies appear fairer, there are less poor people. But that doesn’t make it right. There should be serious journalists taking the government to task.

Another one is the use of the word house-owners or householders, used when interest rates are being discussed. Higher interest rates will not affect householders per se, it is Mortgagees that are affected. A simple difference but one that implies all homeowners are affect when that is blatantly untrue.

If journalists and politicians want to be believed then they should widen their vocabulary to encompass the bigger picture instead of focusing on their narrow policy/journalistic views.

Lastly if I hear the Prime minister or Treasurer say one more time, that Telstra is government owned I'll throw a telephone book at them.

It is owned by us the people, the common people. It is part of our Common-Wealth. Unfortunately, either by stealth or accepting of policy, we have allowed this government to sell off the remaining 51%.

I did read somewhere that around 80% of the population are against the full sale of Telstra. But under this type of governance we only get 30 seconds of democracy every 3 years.

Woof.

A Purrfect email, Well an Email I received the other day

A great divider of people, and one which is oft openly owned, is the
catperson/dogperson dichotomy. Catdogpersonally, i myself am well disposed
to each link of the foodchain with the exception of viruses and turkeys.
In today's rant i focus upon the cat side of the equation and elaborate on
the sentiment behind the bumper-sticker "dogs have masters, cats have
staff".

Why are cats so down-right purrnickity and difficult? Based as usual on
nowt bar the anecdotal, i am, surprisesurprise, willing to surmise.

1} Given that urban development could not have arisen sans la chat & their
vermin chewing ways, they are indispensable.

2} They are constantly telling those with ears to hear "Me-Ow!" and even
plainly "Ow!" This pain, so clearly enounced, is not understood in its
nature.

2b} As cats sleep for up to 18hrs a day, i suggest their reality lies
principally in the realm of dreams, their waking period being one of
nightmarish mundanity, plebian struggle and a paucity of tasty treats.

5}It then follows that a general "i cant WORK uner these conditions" and
"i'll be in my trailer!" attitude is comPLETEly understandable and, indeed
entirely reasonable and we should all be much, much, much nicer to cats,
ALL cats, any cats you meet, give them QUALITY food, warmth, massages,
pedicures... quick! the furry fiend which has had it's claws at my jugular
has been momentarily distracted by a venetian blind cord, enabling me to
speak freely, i know not for how long...

9c}Help!!

11:11} We must rise up and eradicate them NOW, before it's too late! We
dont need them anymore, we have mouse traps and rat-baits and if it comes
to it we can all live in smaller self-contained outposts with a
tree-change feel, like in the sunday supplements, anything to be free of
the tyranny of

<..>} dISrrrrrrrreGArd las bitt, morrrrrrrr goUrrrrrmEt sssiNGle
sseRvsssss

Thanks E x

Woof. Meow.

Teenage WoW

I have heard of grown men falling asleep in front of their computer screens, after feverishly playing World of Warcraft [WoW] The most popular on-line game.

Well I know of a teenager who is mightily pissed off that he is only allowed 2 maybe 3 hours a night/day playing. I'm sure he would go for 8 hours straight if you let him and has done so in the past. Sleepovers are a great excuse for mammoth sessions. The game obviously has addictive qualities, which to the casual observer are overlooked. Being a casual observer myself, I can see none of them.

The compulsive nature of WoW means any attempt to modify playing it, is met with loud protestations, complaints and comparisons.
'My friends can play until 3 a m.' Was levelled at me on one occasion. This was a week night .

Any talk of alternative activities, such as reading, playing music, doing homework. helping with the household chores. All are dismissed as unnecessary or boring.

A classic exchange the other day from said Teenager. In reply to the comment that he was not helping with the housework or cooking, despite the fact that he enjoyed eating the food.

'So you are accusing me of being fat now.' He exclaimed with a hurt look.

'No, just that.’ I replied, ‘You like the food, but not the preparation or cleaning, both need doing as well as the eating.'

'No you are accusing me of being fat. And in any case do you like doing the preparation and cleaning work?'

'Yes I do.' I said, 'But not all the time'.

'Well I find it boring' so if you like it so much you do it, then I won't feel bored doing it. OK!'

And with that he headed back to the computer with a purposeful look in his eye and with a crack of his knuckles, he prepared to fight another keyboard battle.

Woof.

Dancing Dog

A not so grumpy dog:

Saturday night late pub music, Collingwood, good music, birthday party time. [Again] The world is turning 40.

For the first time in a long time, I had someone ask me to dance, very flattering, and not only that, I then danced with someone who just never dances. Yes, she dances rather well.

Lastly learnt that there was a guy called Pliny around the time of Jesus, lived in Rome. Must be a bit of a hit cause he is still remembered by some today. Cheers E x

Woof.

Sunday Aah Rainbows

New World Melbourne

Old World Thanks sadeyes